(Name-mce) ListServ We lack a genuine concern for one another

[Bill Howe]

Posted on Wed, Dec. 20, 2006

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*We lack a genuine concern for one another*

By LEWIS DIUGUID

Columnist

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Many northern "snowbirds" head south now to enjoy the palm trees, cactus and
warmer weather during the holidays.

My thoughts drift there, too, for the wisdom Lee Mun Wah shared last month
at the National Association for Multicultural Education conference in
Phoenix. He had people show what should happen more especially during the
holidays.

He had us talk to each other even though many of us had never met. He hugged
men and women and by his example encouraged us to hug others, too.

People eagerly and openly did. Such emotional expression is what's
desperately lacking in the United States, Lee told us.

Christmas and New Year's are times for giving, for renewal, for change and
for people to show their concern for others without fear. "We work in a
society that extracts emotion from people," he said.

"We are not taught that tears are useful and a good thing," Lee said.
"Touching is meaningful," even in the workplace.

Lee said the Japanese say Americans ask the most intimate question - "How
are you?" - and then we are halfway down the hall because we often don't
want to know the answer.

"We don't need a wall between Mexico and the United States," Lee said.
"There are walls between us every day.

"We are separate. We do it unconsciously, and we do it every day."

Lee is a therapist and is best known for his role in the diversity film,
"The Color of Fear."

He has spent his life trying to get people to see the humanity in others.
Life, he said, is interrelated.

"Yet Western culture is disconnected," he said. People, particularly
in the United
States, think life revolves around us - in which there is no history,
environment or other people in the world.

Nothing could be further from the truth. We need each other. Our need to
touch and to be touched, to speak and to be heard reflects just a tiny bit
of our desire for a connectedness.

"To create a trusting relationship you have to earn it," said Lee, who is
with StirFry Seminars & Consulting.

Christmas is a time for sharing and a time to forgive if that trust is to be
repaired.

Lee criticized Sen. Barack Obama of Illinois. The likely Democratic
presidential hopeful has gained applause and media attention speaking of
America's greatness without enough emphasis on its diversity in race,
ethnicity, religion and sexual orientation. Such expressions represent a new
dimension of America's "don't ask; don't tell" history. We must embrace all
of the beauty in others to appreciate them as human beings.

To do otherwise continues the myth that this is a country that insists that
"white and human are synonymous," Lee said. He added that the insistence
that everyone speak English is "one more whites-only sign" in the United
States.

Immigrants instead should ask when U.S. citizens will become multilingual.

Lee urged people who are white to get past feeling guilty over how people of
color have long been exploited or discriminated against. "Guilt paralyzes,"
Lee said.

"It freezes you," he said. "Guilt is a natural reaction. But if it is the
only thing, it will keep you from going further."

Lee urged everyone to listen, ask questions, do more and reach out to
others. "Become an ally," he said.

"The fastest way to figure out what people of color want is to ask them,"
Lee said. "Everyone's life gets better when we work through this."

The walls - real and metaphorical - that separate us need to come down and
enable us to be human. It's especially good to start now. 'Tis the season.
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*Lewis W. Diuguid is a member of The Star's Editorial Board. To reach him,
call (816) 234-4723 or send e-mail to Ldiuguid at kcstar.com.*

-- 
Bill Howe
http://www.billhowe.org

Past-President
National Association for Multicultural Education (NAME)
http://www.nameorg.org